A shitty start to 2015 (if easily grossed out don't read!)

2015 has already thrown a curve ball at me and it’s only been a week!

2 days ago I started getting stomach pains, I get them a lot if I eat gluten, so I assumed that was my problem. Normally this will correct itself and I can move on, not so much this time. By about 10:30ish I was in excruciating pain and needed to get to the hospital.

FAT LOT OF FUCKING GOOD THAT DID ME! Seriously the first thing they gave me was Endone to help with that pain…..lets take a moment to think about that and go through some of the side effects….

  • The more common side effects of Endone include:
    • dizziness, light-headedness, and confusion.
    • drowsiness.
    • low blood pressure.
    • constipation.
    • vomiting.
    • nausea.

    What the actual fuck?! What dickhead in their infinite wisdom thought giving someone who literally can’t shit something that will make it worse but you won’t be able to feel pain. So when my intestines explode I won’t be able to feel it when I die…fuck stick!

    I was in the waiting room for about an hour before I was given something for my actual problem and sent off for an Xray.

    Sometime last year I had an accident and needed an Xray on my wrist, well the guy taking my Xray was the same guy and he remembered me. It’s that this point I should mention that this guy is extremely attractive and I was doing my best not to be totally gross or complain. I have managed to convince myself somehow that attractive people aren’t people so the don’t feel pain and look amazing all the time, and I have to do the same when I’m around them. So he has me on the Xray bed and he says that he needs to press my stomach, ok no worries, I can work through the pain. He presses into my stomach and BAM I lose control and let out this HUGE FART! EMBARRASSING!!!! Totally mortified I apologise and he says its not worries he’s a health professional and seen or heard it all. Still mortified I let it go (my embarrassment not anything else) and he takes the Xray.

    After the Xray I am put into the waiting room where I wait for 4-5 hours to be seen. I get called into the back room behind the triage nurse and handed 3 different kinds of laxatives and told what to do with them and get told I can go. Uhm how about telling me what’s wrong fool! I ask the doctor if he had a diagnosis for me and his exact words are “you have a slow bowel, you can’t fix it but more fiber and regular laxatives will help. there are some stomach exercises you can do but I don’t know what they are and I don’t have time to find them.” Then he walks away. Half way down the corridor he yells back “walking is good for constipation though”. With a waiting room full of people staring at me I left the hospital and went home feeling only a tad better than when I left.

    So I guess this means if I want to start fixing my problem I had better start researching, so I’m off to do just that. Sorry if this post made you uncomfortable but right now I don’t give a shit ;P.

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Here's hoping!

2014 is gone and what a fucking shit year it was! In January my Nan passed away from lung cancer that had spread to her bones. She had been sick for a while and it was kind of a relief to know she wasn’t in pain anymore. It still hurts like hell to think about her and I miss her every single day.

My health has been up and down like a yo-yo and my weight seems to have stagnated. this is not happy making at all! I still haven’t found a job and things are getting harder financially for me which isn’t helping my mood. I have been trying hard not to let it get to me but it’s not always easy with everything else that has been going on.

Things seemed to be going ok towards the end of the year then my oldest baby Yoshi had a cancer scare that sent me into a spin for a while. We found a lump on his foot and took him to the vet to get it checked out, we were told after a few tests that he had cancer. I cried and cried the whole 30 minute drive home. If I didn’t have Druey with me supporting me I think my heart would have stopped! We organised Yoshi’s surgery to remove the whole toe that had the lump. He came out of surgery with no problems and bouncing around like nothing had happened, I wish I had his outlook on life because I was a mess. The vets sent the toe off to be tested to see exactly what we were dealing with. A few days after the surgery we got a call from our vet telling me that the lump wasn’t cancer, it was a fungal infection that has similar cell markers to cancer but the bone in his toe had been damaged and would have had to come off anyway. PHEW! On the drive home after his final check up I cried again but from relief that another shitty experience was behind us! I owe the team at Mount Sugar Loaf Animal Hospital my life! You guys are amazing!

On a positive note, I mentioned on a previous post that I was looking into interior design. Well things have progressed and I got into design school! I start  my 3 year educational journey in February!!!! I am so excited and hope more comes out of it than my depressed brain tells me will. So here’s hoping 2015 is my year!!!

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Sad Panda

So August came and went with very little outfit august from me 🙁 Sadly life and all it’s stresses got in the way and it wasn’t possible to get things out there on time. I am still considering posting outfits and body progression photos but they will be sporadically posted. (Sad Panda)

Leah sorry I couldn’t do it but I’m sure you will understand . Woosang you have been my inspiration to keep blogging and I am trying. Hopefully over the next little while I can start to post more.

Now that’s out of they way let’s start talking my usual crapola! Things have been a little tough for me emotionally. Yes I’ve managed to keep it together, but life has been dealing me with more stresses and worries than I can deal with and I’m starting to feel the pressure. I’m not about to disappear into a cloud of tears and snot or hide under my bed for the rest of my life (as much as I want to), I just simply have a bit of a cry and move on. But what it does mean is some things have to be put aside to do later. Blogging has fallen into that category as well as some of my quilting projects and even keeping on top of my housework.

Most of my stresses stem from the fact that I am STILL unemployed. I apply for anything and everything I can get my hands on, full time, part time, casual  you name it I’m applying for it. No one seems to want to give me a chance. A lot of my friends and family have told me I should go get some form of qualification, well that costs money which means I need to get a job…. Aaaaaand we are back to square one! What I dream of doing is interior design. This is something i have wanted to do for a very long time and I have been looking into it. There are some awesome design schools around and quite a few of them have relatively inexpensive (for what they are) fees, but they are still out of my reach.

Now I can hear you all screaming about government help and all that, that doesn’t apply to me. Government assisted programs only apply to you if A: you are on the dole or B) are below a certain income. Before you all start ranting and raving that I don’t have an income, you’re right I don’t have an income, but Druey does and as we are in a defacto relationship, and the assistance programs are means tested, I don’t qualify. Are you dizzy yet? I sure as shit am!

I have done a lot of soul searching a research on interior design and even though most of you probably think it’s not a great career move to go into a business that most would consider a luxury item, and probably very few could afford. That has played heavily on my mind, but interior design is much more than designing someones home interior and making it look all pretty, there are literally thousands of jobs that right now i can’t apply for that, if I had this qualification, I could apply for. Not to mention I would be doing something that I love, and after settling for jobs that I can put up with for years, I want a career I love and wake up everyday loving and want to progress with. Can’t I have that? PLEASE??

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Drunkity drunk drunk

I am writing this to you in a somewhat very drunk state! Druey and I just watched Casino Royale with champagne and cheese, guess who drank the champagne ;). I have been having a lot of trouble with my photos on this blog, not to mention writing word after word after word only to have half of it disappear, so sadly my last few outfit of the days have disappeared. I am attempting to rectify this tomorrow and start fresh. I’m considering going further and doing more than outfit august to also show my body changes as I progress through my fitness regime so keep an eye out for that. I’m not promising daily pics but I’ll at least do a weekly roundup or something to that effect.

Today was a pretty relaxed day, hung out with my dear friend Rowan (ALEXANDER!!! :P) and had a lovely afternoon. I had said there was an over the door mirror for $15 in the reject shop and as I don’t own a decent sized mirror, I had mentioned that I was considering getting the mirror. I bet you can guess what happened next…… that’s right he bought it for me! Thank Rowan, you are the bestest!!!

ANYWAYZ I am waaaay to drunk to keep writing so I am off to do stuff and things….BYEE!

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Trying…..Very Trying

Things have been a blur since I last posted. I took Woosang to her follow up appointment after her surgery, drove to check out if the pharmacy could help her with the itching and headed back to Picton. On the way back I got a phone call about a job I had applied for and was invited to an interview on Thursday! WHOOOHOO!! I left Woosang’s place 5 days ago on the 12th. I left Picton sometime around lunchtime to head back home to Maitland. I knew Druey was sick and not feeling the best so I was keen to get home, plus I was missing the dogs. Given the phone calls I was getting while in Picton I expected to come home to a mess but was pleasantly surprised, but this proves I am the mess maker in this house! After I got home I relaxed and caught up with Druey and that was about it.

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Cardigan, shirt, pants, shoes all from Jayjays

Wednesday was spent trying to get back into the rhythm of being at home, catching up on housework and preparing for a job interview the next day. Got a haircut, had a shave and made myself look presentable. Was stressing a little bit but managed to keep myself calm, until I went to look for my birth certificate. I checked the usual place and panic set in! It wasn’t there!!! What the actual fuck?! The last place I had needed it was with the company I was interviewing with the next day! I had a quick chat with Woosang and she said I should probably email them and explain the situation. Didn’t have to, the company sent me an email confirming my appointment so I wrote back and told them my problem and they said not to worry come anyway. It’s at this point I want you to make a mental note of what I just said because shit’s about to go totally mind fuck!

( recycled yesterdays outfit because it was clean and I wasn’t going out anywhere other than the hairdresser and Tim doesn’t give a crap how I look ha ha)

Thursday come and I got up early got myself organised and dressed, I was looking good! I got Druey off to work and got myself to the train station in time to head over to Hamilton for the interview. 20 minute train ride got me into town 30 minutes early but by the time I walked up to the offices I was only 20 minutes early. I walked in and put my game face on, I was ready to take on the world. Got to the front counter explained who I was and why I was there to the receptionist. She turned to me and put on the biggest forced looking smile and said ” I am really sorry to have to tell you this but we sent you an interview invitation by mistake.” Uhm WHAT?! I felt the blood boil from my toes right up to the top of my head. I calmly told her that I had gotten a verbal invitation, an email invitation and a confirmation email last night. She said she was sorry but that I had been sent the invitation by mistake. I left upset and angry, it took all my strength not to burst into tears but I managed to get home. I don’t really remember how I got home all I remember is I did.

I walked inside and set about cleaning my house. It’s my coping mechanism, I clean under beds and moved furniture to clean under it. After about an hour I got a call from my friend Rowan saying he had broken down and asked if I wasn’t busty could I pick him up. That was no problem but I was almost out of fuel. Rowan said he would get me some petrol when I got him so that was fine. I rang Druey and told him What I was doing and he asked me to drop off some Neurofen  to him. I was a little concerned I wouldn’t make it to him and back to Rowan then to the petrol station on what fuel I had left but I did. I don’t remember much about the rest of the night was in a state of disbelief that a company could operate like that!

Shirt Van Heusen, Tie from Lowes, Jacket Thomas Spencer, Pants Tarocash, Shoes Blaq

Saturday Druey and I decided to head out for a drive, I thought we had nowhere planned to go. I should have known better :p. We drove for 2+hours listening to our favorite podcast Hyper Nonsense. We ended up in a small country town called Merriwa. Druey promptly informed me that he had planned to come here all along for the amazing pies the bakery has.

Some of you probably aren’t aware that I have a gluten intolerance, it’s more of an annoyance to be honest. I can handle certain amount of gluten but it does make me a little sick. I decided to have a pie anyway, I haven’t had one in so long and I knew that I  could handle having the pastry with only minor repercussions so I had a steak and mushroom pie then noticed the vanilla slice looking oh so amazingly delicious! I ate the pie and slice and only suffered bloating so was pretty impressed!

(I wrote a lot more but for some reason it’s all gone 🙁 Look for more tomorrow )


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Better late than never. ( Outfit August 8,9,10 oh yeah and 11 )

The last few days have been spent in Picton with David and Woosang which has been great fun, I don’t often get to spend much time with them, it’s really nice.

Woosang and I both have a passion for fashion and all things clothing related. This can be both good and bad in that A. she will be frank as to what looks good on me and what doesn’t, but B. we will spend money together which when I don’t need it right this minute makes for a very light wallet, but then I have nice things so who gives a crap!!!

I arrived late on Thursday night due to stupid mistake, I put my wallet in the car then on my way out grabbed a wallet that wasn’t mine. I discovered this once I had driven an hour and a half, sigh. Back to Maitland I go! Once I was on the road all was well and I got to Picton before midnight so that was something. I arrived, I ate, I slept and that was about the extent of my Thursday night.

Friday morning it was decided that snakes needed to be fed and Aldi needed to be visited so a road trip was had! Did a quick whip around Aldi looking for gluten free foods! FAIL! The food wasn’t there until next week 🙁 Oh well on to the snake food shop!

Got to the snake food shop and was directed straight to the reptile room so see the CUTE LITTLE TURTLES!!! Oh My God they were adorable!!! If I didn’t already own a menagerie of animals and they little fuckers didn’t grow to the size of a dinner plate I have one! The rest of Friday was nice and relaxed and pretty uneventful…BLISS!


Saturday…..SHOPPING!!!! Woosang  had given me some money to help look after her after her recent surgery, so naturally….we spent it :P. First stop was Paul’s warehouse for new running shoes. I had a terrible pair of nike shoes that were really not suitable for anything except being pretty, so Woosang, who is a runner, instructed me to buy new running shoes. David and I got a pair of shoes each in the buy one get one free sale and split the full price pair. $400 worth of shoes at $100 each BARGAIN! Then it was on to the shopping center to get Woosang shape wear. We made a beeline for the shops she knew had what she was after, no such luck :(. We did find a few things that were inexpensive enough that if they didn’t fit or work the way she needed it was no great loss. After that we headed over to Jay Jays to see if they still had the chinos I wanted to get on sale for 2 for $60 and they did! I would have liked to have gotten the light bone and the maroon coloured chinos but I had to settle for a darker beige and a blue pair. They look great and I’m happy with them so can’t complain. Lunch time was upon us so we headed over to sizzler. I was very well behaved and even though I was at an all you can eat place I didn’t “EAT IT ALL”!


Outfit for days 8 and 9(I’m not at home give me a break) : EVERYTHING is from JayJays 😛

Sunday we subjected ourselves to watching Sharktopus and Sharknado, FUCKING HILARIOUS! Everyone needs to go watch NOW!! Woosang’s mother popped in and asked me to sew some buttons on a dress for her, took me 5 minutes so no real issue :). We then attended David’s parent’s place for his sisters birthday dinner which was nice. I wore my JayJays purchase and ate a little too much cake, total bloating!

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Outfit for day 10 (there are subtle differences): once again everything my JayJays!

We have now reached Monday. Hold on to your hat’s because this is riveting stuff….I woke up at 9am, forgot to have breakfast, took Woosang to the dry cleaners, came home and spent the afternoon writing this…. The End.


Outfit for day 11:

shirt, jeans and shoes (you guessed it) JayJays

Flano vest Big W (this was a 7xL shirt I tailored to fit me!)

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New Beginnings

So I have recently began a health and fitness kick. Normally these kicks last a few weeks then give up, but things seem to be sticking this time!

What prompted this change is probably very fucking stupid to most people but it worked for me, so shut up! AK and I started watching Geordie Shore, and let me tell you: the guys on that show are fucking HOT! So, what’s stopping me looking like that??? NOTHING that’s what! I contacted a few gyms in the area and found a personal trainer that was within my price range, so naturally I started going.

I was working out with my trainer once a week at first and noticed small changes, but was finding it difficult to keep things up at home. I continued to pay and see my trainer for about a year, and in the meantime I met up with someone who walked with every couple of days. Things were going well, then my walking buddy suggested I look at joining the gym he goes to. I looked up costs and had a chat with AK and he worked out it was cheaper for me to see my trainer once a fortnight so I joined the gym and much to my surprise my walking buddy decided to stop going to the gym, but that’s ok 🙂

I stopped seeing my trainer just because things weren’t progressing and it felt like I was wasting my money. I kept going to the gym and organised one of their trainers to write my up a program for me. I’ve been following for a few months now, and have noticed some big differences in my body and fitness levels so far. So, I’m pretty happy!!

My arms chest and legs have all gotten bigger, which is awesome! My stomach has shrunk a small amount and I’ve noticed definition where there was a fat layer before, ha! So, things are heading in the right direction for me!

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Decisions decisions.

So I have a few decisions to make regarding this blog. I have recently started quilting and I have fallen in love with sewing all over again and, as most of you are aware, I am struggling to find work. So I thought I should look at alternative avenues to obtain an income. I have decided I want to eventually start an online quilt shop but need money to get it off the ground so for now I am looking at making quilts and selling them to save up the money to start my business.

How does this affect my blog do you ask? Well I need to decide if I keep this little ranty, bitchy, sweary thing that keeps me sane going, or do I remove all traces of it and in it’s place document the quilts I make and the process I use to make them? I am leaning towards the latter as it isn’t very professional to have blogs like this one public when you are trying to start a business. HOWEVER, as I’m sure you will have noticed that I generally don’t give two shits what people think of my opinions, as they are my own and I make no apologies for them! Anyone who complains about my views can, in my opinion, get knotted.

What is your opinion? Should I or shouldn’t I?? Please leave me a comment and tell what you think. I promise if I don’t agree I won’t make fun of you….that much 😛

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Jane's addiction…..well my addiction anyway.

I have recently discovered a new collectible that to be honest I never thought of as a collectible. We use them every day and for the most part they are very cheap and most people would consider a disposable item. I bet a lot of you ladies have one or 2 in your handbags and guys I’m sure you have a few in the glove box of the car. We buy hundreds of them and have millions of them around our homes and offices, yet when we need one they are all mysteriously missing! Have you worked it out yet? I’m talking about PENS!!!!

I have always been the type of person who throws pens away and never really thought about it. I had pens I liked using and that were better than others, but now I realise there is so much more out there than a ballpoint or a felt tip! Recently one of my dearest friends “Y” gifted to me 3 fountain pens and I immediately fell in love! She is an extremely giving person who I would move mountains if need be to help out and she is a confessed pen addict! I think she just needed someone she could share her addiction with and boy did she! I have been converted and I am loving every second of it!

My friend “Y” also introduced me to a podcast on the 70 Decibels podcast network called “The Pen Addict” (http://www.70decibels.com/thepenaddict/) The show is hosted by, I think the king of pen addicts, Brad Dowdy and self confessed pen addict Myke Hurley. I have learnt so much and can’t wait to put in to practice the thing they have taught me and I’m only into my 3rd podcast!!!! So thanks to Y for opening my eyes and introducing me to the world of pens!



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Begoth Be gone!

Apart from a select group, not by choice mind you, not many of you know that before I met Drue I used to collect Begoth dolls. I had the whole collection up to date. These dolls are rare and the company only make a select few and when they run out “that’s all folks!”

Unfortunately all of mine were stolen from me and I had no way to get them back. It was heartbreaking because I knew it would be a very difficult thing to get them all back and to this day I have only managed to get 2 back, one of which technically is on permanent loan from a dear friend. I have noticed a lot of people selling them on ebay and places like that but some aren’t in the best condition.

You are probably wondering “what the hell does this have to do with me?!” Well I have decided to put up a list of the dolls I had stolen and also the couple I didn’t have yet and if anyone comes across any you can shoot me an email to ben@benr.id.au and let me know which doll, where it was being sold and how much it was to purchase. As I purchase any of the dolls I will mark them off the list (I wont say not to any gifts either :-p).

I’m hoping to one day have the whole collection again, I’m not holding my breath though. I am not concerned if they are mint in box anymore I just want my girls back!!!! There are 2 types of dolls a 12″ fashion doll and 7″ figurines.

So here is the list! I have listed the 12″ dolls first then the 7″ figurines

Series 1

Series 2
Casual Storm
Abcynthia Chaser
Angelina Blasphemina
Suzi Ful
Victoria Creeper

Series 3
Back to School Storm
Serpentina Maria Sangria
Julia Doom
Scorpio Vixen

Series 4
Evening Storm
Fiona Fatale
Hypnotica Gaze
Infinity A Byss

Series 5
Leda Swanson
Anabelle Lee
Red Riding Storm
Esperanza De Muerte
Ivana Scream

Series 6
Slayer Storm
Penelope Fabrique

Series 7
Atara Inferno
Katarina Moreau
Olivia D Lantern


Series 1

Series 2
Dru Id
Hysteria Venom
Ophelia Pain
Trinity Tortura

Series 3
Autumn Von Sanguine
Eva Destruction
Nurse Hypnochondrianna
Veronica Despair

Series 4
Angela Noir
Cyberella D Nile
Lunabella Whispers
Malice in Wonderland

Series 5
Deliah Blackheart
Jacqueline Le Spades
Joani Rotten
Mina Immortale

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