A shitty start to 2015 (if easily grossed out don't read!)

2015 has already thrown a curve ball at me and it’s only been a week!

2 days ago I started getting stomach pains, I get them a lot if I eat gluten, so I assumed that was my problem. Normally this will correct itself and I can move on, not so much this time. By about 10:30ish I was in excruciating pain and needed to get to the hospital.

FAT LOT OF FUCKING GOOD THAT DID ME! Seriously the first thing they gave me was Endone to help with that pain…..lets take a moment to think about that and go through some of the side effects….

  • The more common side effects of Endone include:
    • dizziness, light-headedness, and confusion.
    • drowsiness.
    • low blood pressure.
    • constipation.
    • vomiting.
    • nausea.

    What the actual fuck?! What dickhead in their infinite wisdom thought giving someone who literally can’t shit something that will make it worse but you won’t be able to feel pain. So when my intestines explode I won’t be able to feel it when I die…fuck stick!

    I was in the waiting room for about an hour before I was given something for my actual problem and sent off for an Xray.

    Sometime last year I had an accident and needed an Xray on my wrist, well the guy taking my Xray was the same guy and he remembered me. It’s that this point I should mention that this guy is extremely attractive and I was doing my best not to be totally gross or complain. I have managed to convince myself somehow that attractive people aren’t people so the don’t feel pain and look amazing all the time, and I have to do the same when I’m around them. So he has me on the Xray bed and he says that he needs to press my stomach, ok no worries, I can work through the pain. He presses into my stomach and BAM I lose control and let out this HUGE FART! EMBARRASSING!!!! Totally mortified I apologise and he says its not worries he’s a health professional and seen or heard it all. Still mortified I let it go (my embarrassment not anything else) and he takes the Xray.

    After the Xray I am put into the waiting room where I wait for 4-5 hours to be seen. I get called into the back room behind the triage nurse and handed 3 different kinds of laxatives and told what to do with them and get told I can go. Uhm how about telling me what’s wrong fool! I ask the doctor if he had a diagnosis for me and his exact words are “you have a slow bowel, you can’t fix it but more fiber and regular laxatives will help. there are some stomach exercises you can do but I don’t know what they are and I don’t have time to find them.” Then he walks away. Half way down the corridor he yells back “walking is good for constipation though”. With a waiting room full of people staring at me I left the hospital and went home feeling only a tad better than when I left.

    So I guess this means if I want to start fixing my problem I had better start researching, so I’m off to do just that. Sorry if this post made you uncomfortable but right now I don’t give a shit ;P.

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2 Responses to A shitty start to 2015 (if easily grossed out don't read!)

  1. Yvonne says:

    Sorry but your story made me giggle. First time since the great breakup. Please let’s get drink and you tell to me in person

  2. Pun intended? 😉
    Hope your bowels settle down soon.

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